I recently heard about a junior member of staff who hadn’t been to work for ten days. She cited ‘mental health issues’. Her boyfriend had called time on their relationship and she wasn’t coping well. It’s one more in number of similar occurrences across a number of different organisations that have been mentioned to me by clients and colleagues.

I’m sure we can all sympathise with the distress a young person experiences when a romantic relationship ends. I’m struggling to sympathise with the need for ten days off. One of the senior HR Professionals who confided in me is herself in the throes of ending her 38-year marriage. She hasn’t taken any time off, but it doesn’t mean she’s any less affected by her situation. Another has just had a traumatic accident to a family member whilst on holiday. She hasn’t taken any time off either.

No doubt I am the product of a very different era of work. I laid the foundations of my career in a time when allowing your personal life to affect your work was regarded as unprofessional. Perhaps more so in the service sector, where I began my working life.

When you’re faced with an endless stream of customers the key is to focus on what they want and to deliver it efficiently. It’s not about me, it’s about them. And that can be very useful…

I remember, many years ago, going to work with my personal finances weighing on my mind (In the late 1980s I had my first mortgage and within months the interest rate had gone up to 13%). It had been an effort to get going that morning, to put on my make-up and paste on a smile for the customers. When I stopped at lunchtime, I was pleasantly surprised to realise that I felt better. I’d been busy.  I’d been focusing on other people. I’d been solving other problems. As I sat in the staff room eating my lunch, I realised that my financial issues could be resolved. I knew what to do.

Looking back, I can see that I was taking advantage of the great power of the unconscious mind. It never stops. The unconscious part of your mind is the repository of everything you know, all your memories and all your ideas. Learning to harness the power of the unconscious mind can be transformational. Set it a task before you go to sleep at night and wake up to the answers.

I’m digressing slightly, but only slightly. The unconscious mind is also the source of emotions, which in turn are related to our deeply-held values. Values provide the motivation to act.

When life throws up an unexpected and unpleasant surprise, the conscious mind goes into a spin. Shock, denial, paralysis, anger…. Emotions flood the conscious awareness and the brain goes into Threat mode, making it hard to think clearly and productively. The temptation is to wallow in the emotion.

The unconscious mind gets to work when the conscious mind is either distracted or asleep. When the conscious mind focuses on the problem, in an endless loop of anxiety and stress, the unconscious mind can’t process the issue, can’t accept what’s going on, can’t heal and can’t plan for the future.

We need to create mental space for the unconscious mind to do its job.  Going to work can be enough.

The same can apply to physical problems. Actors sometimes refer to ‘Doctor Theatre’, meaning that if they make the effort to go on stage and perform despite a headache, a head cold or a pulled muscle, they come off stage feeling much better.  The change of state is powerful. When you act the part of a character who is fit and well and full of life, your body responds accordingly.

I’ve had a similar experience as a trainer. When people have paid fees for a training course, they expect you to deliver. There’s very little room for being ‘under the weather’ or ‘not at my best’. At the end of a day’s workshop I’ve often felt as though I’ve shaken off my niggling health issues and I feel at my best again.

Now, I’m not saying we should ignore our problems, physical or mental.

It’s also true that I’ve battled through a two-day course as my voice diminished to a croak and my energy gradually drained away. It doesn’t ALWAYS create a miraculous healing!

And I’ve seen the damage done to people who try to work through increasing stress and find themselves in a downward spiral of anxiety and overwhelm.

So no, I’m not saying we should ignore our problems. What I’m suggesting is that we have choices. No matter what is going on in your life, you can’t feel bad about it every second of the day. Emotions just don’t work like that. They come and go, in waves. Ask anyone who is handling a bereavement. People laugh at funerals as well as crying.

If you make the effort to focus on something else, you can. If you make the effort to talk about other things, you can breathe through the wave of emotion and surf it to safer waters. If you hold the intention to get some work done, despite the distractions of your anxieties, you can probably achieve something. Maybe not as much as you would on a ‘good day’ but something nonetheless.

And having done that, you can go home at the end of your working day and think about what’s bothering you and express your feelings to your nearest and dearest, or your therapist or whoever, and know that you might be having a hard time, but you’re not completely broken.

Personal resilience is closely linked to self-esteem. If you feel good about yourself and your achievements in general, it’s easier to cope with the occasional set-back.

So, as we find ourselves in a world where corporate responsibility extends into the arena of mental health and well-being, I think there are some important skills that people can learn. Supporting mental health already means different things in different organisations.

Could it also mean helping people to compartmentalise their problems and use their work as therapy?

For my generation, that’s known as ‘professionalism’ – to act the role regardless of how you feel inside. The problems came when people tried to ignore the issues permanently. Good mental health practice is about creating a constructive way to address the problems at a planned time. (That could include Bridget Jones-style eating ice-cream in front of mindless TV for an evening or it could mean seeing therapist regularly)

Work is good for your mental health. I think work can even be regarded as a form of therapy.

Or am I just a dinosaur? What do you think? Would I be accused of bullying if I suggested that ‘get up, dress up and show up’ is what’s needed on the tough days?