We all love a good book, don’t we?

I first read ‘Lost Connections’ by Johann Hari shortly after it was published in 2018. I’ve revisited it a few time since.

The subtitle reads: “Uncovering the real causes of depression – and the unexpected solutions”. It was the latter part that first caught my attention. I was curious about the ‘unexpected solutions’.

The book charts Hari’s own quest for a better way to deal with his own lifelong struggle with depression. He challenges the idea that depression is simply an imbalance of chemicals in the brain that need treatment with drugs.

His research takes him around the world to a wide variety of people and situations and his conclusion is that depression is caused by disconnection. Specifically, there are nine causes or depression and anxiety:

1. Disconnection from meaningful work
2. Disconnection from other people
3. Disconnection from meaningful values
4. Disconnection from childhood trauma
5. Disconnection from status and respect
6. Disconnection from the natural world
7. Disconnection from a hopeful or secure future
8. Genetic factors
9. Brain changes

Having identified the lost connections, Hari goes on to explore effective means of reconnecting and regaining mental health. It’s a fascinating book and I found it quite uplifting – the realisation that we can treat depression with social solutions as opposed to pharmacological ones has got to be good news, right?

In this episode Wilma and I are talking about what makes it hard – or easy – for people to open up about their vulnerabilities and about some of the differences in the ways men and women experience this challenge.

 

 

I’m not a great fan of tv.  I spend more time reading than watching tv but every now and again something comes along that grabs my attention…

The first series of ‘Freddie Flintoff’s Field of Dreams’ was both enjoyable and moving.  The second series is even better.  If you’ve already watched it you’ll know how totally inspirational it is.  If you haven’t, you’re in for a treat…

Even if you have never watched cricket and have no idea of the significance of Andrew ‘Freddie’ Flintoff, this is for you.  If you are a leader, a parent, a coach or teacher it’s worth a few hours of your time to watch the whole series.

Despite his incomplete recovery from the horrific car accident that almost claimed his life, Flintoff takes his team of cricket misfits on tour to India.  They are all – including Flintoff – outside of their comfort zones at times but the boys rally around each other, giving support and finding friendship in the most unlikely situations.  This is real-life leadership in all its messy and complicated glory.

Find it on BBC iPlayer or if you’re outside the UK, there are some great clips on YouTube.  Here’s one…

 

‘More Shakespeare’, I hear you intone.  I see you rolling your eyes.  But you know how much I love The Bard and I’m guessing you wouldn’t be reading my newsletters if you didn’t enjoy my regular references to his work.  Actually, these wise words were not written by William Shakespeare but by Pericles himself.  Yes, he was a real person in Ancient Greece and some of his writings have survived the march of time.

Why this quote, why now?

Firstly, I went to see the current production of ‘Pericles’ directed by Tamara Harvey and starring Alfred Enoch (you might remember him as Dean Thomas in the Harry Potter films).  It is a beautiful production and weaves the disparate parts of the plot together very well.  I loved it.

Secondly, in the past year several of my friends have lost a loved one.  Talking of the deceased ones, people mention their special memories of times spent together, of help given and received, of secrets shared and kept and of warm feelings.  It’s rare that eulogies list academic qualifications or corporate positions held.  I know it’s a cliche, but people remember how you make them feel.

Thirdly, I’ve been doing a lot of leadership training and coaching lately.  A theme that keeps recurring is how leaders can enrich the lives of their people.  Leadership is not just about getting people to do the job they’re paid to do – although in some cases that would be a good start.  Leadership is also about creating an environment in which people want to work, to belong, to contribute and to succeed.  Working from home is now an established feature of many corporate cultures and it’s obvious that it’s brought a drift towards more transactional relationships between employer and employee.  A good leader can reverse that drift and inspire people to create a working community as well as encouraging a healthy balance between personal life and professional life.  In my opinion.

I invite you to consider what you are weaving into the lives of others…

 

 

In this episode Wilma and I are outside in sunny (and breezy) Wales. The conversation roams around the location, my recent trip to Amsterdam, a brilliant example of modern surgical methods and finally settles at the beautiful Graig Ddu, where I coax Wilma to explain the philosophy behind Being a the Cottage and the experience her clients have…

Wilma took the photo of me during the recording, so you can see what a beautiful place it is.  You can also see that I’m wearing an extra jumper, despite it being August!

 

This week I’m working in Amsterdam, a city I have only visited once before, at the age of twelve, on a family holiday.

There is so much to inspire here…

Having visited the Van Gogh Museum, I expected that one of the paintings would be my theme today.  In the event, I was so absorbed in the experience and so clear that I wasn’t going to photograph any of the artwork, that all I can say is that the whole permanent collection is an inspiration.  In any case, I highlighted art as inspiration as few weeks ago with ‘Flaming June’.

It won’t surprise you that I spent a lot of time in the Museum bookshop and almost invested in a book of ‘inspiration’ taken from the letters of Van Gogh (written to his brother, Theo).  One quote that struck me was this:

“I keep on making what I can’t do yet, in order to learn to be able to do it”  Vincent Van Gogh

It surprised me to realise that what we might think of as a prolific creation of art, was to the artist ‘work in progress’ and that every painting was a learning experience rather than a demonstration of skill.

(It also reminded me of that quote from a certain fast bowler that I posted in June!)

So, what is my inspiration of the week?

The cyclists!  Amsterdam is well known as a city where the bicycle is a principle mode of transport and several people warned me to watch out for them – ‘they come at you from all directions!’

A few days in, I’ve got into the (necessary) habit of checking for cyclists at every junction before I even think of crossing the road.  This morning, I was musing on why they feel like such a hazard…

Two things:

1.  They go FAST!

2.  Most don’t indicate.

…and then I thought, in the spirit of recognising that the things we are inclined to criticise in others are often reflections of ourselves, where in my life do I do that?

Not literally, because I actually never learned to ride a bike.

But where in my life do I go quickly and forget to tell other people where I’m going?

I found my answer.  Your turn…

Travel is a significant part of lots of working lives.  Some people love it, but for some it’s stressful, tedious or an unwelcome drain on time.  As more of us use technology to communicate with colleagues on different continents, the time we actually spend face-to-face is reducing and the need to make it count is greater.  If you’re worn out by the travel, you’re unlikely to be at your best to do business.  Here are some of my top tips for enjoyable international business travel and hence more productive time spent with your colleagues or clients in other countries:

 

Planning

• If it’s possible, and especially if I’m travelling out of office hours, I plan NOT to work while I’m travelling.  I indulge in a good book and regard it as a treat.
• When I plan a trip, I don’t automatically go for the cheapest option.  If I can reduce the stress or discomfort by spending a bit extra, then I go for it.  (One of the perks of being my own boss!)
• I make realistic plans about what I can get done whilst travelling.  Assuming that I can make phone calls or answer emails at specific times just creates more stress.
• I tell people well beforehand that I’m going to be away, so that they are not frustrated by having to wait for a response from me.
• If I’m going to need to call people who are in a different time zone (like home) I plan when I’ll do that and write it in my diary.

 

Packing

• If I’m leaving home before midday, I always pack the day before I travel.  That gives me overnight to remember any last-minute items.
• When I used to travel all the time, I had a toilet bag permanently packed with travel sizes of everything and an extra toothbrush, hairbrush and other essentials.  It’s lighter to carry and saves time when packing.
• I prefer to check in as much as possible and not have a heavy ‘carry on’ bag to lug around the airport.  And it means I don’t have to compete for space in the overhead lockers.  Yes, it means waiting in the baggage hall. I can read some more of my book…
• When I get to my hotel, I unpack everything.  It saves rummaging around in my bags to find things and it’s easier for re-packing!

 

 

Jet-lag

There are both physical and psychological factors involved in jet-lag/

For the psychological:

• I set my watch to destination time as soon as I get on the plane.  That gives me the whole flight to get used to it.
• I resist the temptation to calculate what time it is at home and focus on destination time. (This is why I plan calls in advance – I know that it’s a sensible time to call without having to calculate it)
• Wherever I am, I do the things that it’s normal to do at that time in that location.

 

For the physical:

• Sometimes the reason you wake up at odd times after shifting time zone is because it’s a mealtime at home.  Eat something for dinner that will take a while to digest and keep you satisfied until breakfast.  (Pasta with cheese is my favourite)
• Drink lots of water.  Air travel is dehydrating and it can leave you feeling disoriented and make it harder to concentrate.
• If the urge to sleep comes at the ‘wrong’ time of day, take a nap, but only for 90 minutes.

 

General

• Enjoy the experience!  We live in a time when it’s possible for lots of us to travel the world at modest cost.  Our grandparents didn’t have this opportunity and it seems unlikely that our grandchildren will.
• Despite the hassle of parking, of airport security, of airline food and of baggage halls, we are fortunate to be able to cover such great distances so easily.  Consider the alternative!!

 

 

 

I first came across this quote many years ago and it made me feel better about having been told I was ‘unreasonable’.

In the days when I had a ‘proper job’ I did sometimes make myself unpopular by challenging the status quo or refusing to accept something that clearly wasn’t working.  Early in my career I learned to challenge processes, activities and assumptions rather than people.

So why did I bring this quote out again this week?  I was talking with a prospective client who is involved in IT Transformation and he described his role as being to ‘challenge everything’.  That sounds very demanding to me and possibly likely to provoke some resistance.

I think it’s important to remember George Bernard Shaw’s words:

“…all progress depends on the unreasonable man”

And the unreasonable woman of course!

No matter how tough it gets, remember that when you’re labelled as ‘unreasonable’, you’re supporting progress.

In this episode Wilma and Dianne compare their favourite Olympic viewing so far, discuss the passion and ‘will to win’ of athletes and consider the parallels in working life. We talk about why a lot of people aren’t passionate about their work and share our views on recent sports team managers who have left their roles.

Book mentioned:
‘The Anxious Generation’ by Jonathan Haidt

In the past week or two I’ve been talking about teams to a variety of people and so I decided to share this video from my YouTube channel and blog.  It’s not new, but it’s still my best explanation of how leaders can make sense of the differences between people in their teams.

Enjoy!