Last week the newspapers in the UK were full of the latest story about Vince Cable, the Business Secretary. A document had been ‘leaked’ to the Press, in which Mr Cable criticised the government for having ‘no vision’ for business.

So what?

Well, as Business Secretary Vince Cable is part of the Government. As Business Secretary he is the person who leads the Government’s involvement in private business. So from where I’m sitting, he may as well have leaked a document saying, ‘I’m not very good at my job’!

There are two lessons in this for all of us:

Firstly, whenever you feel like criticising someone else over a problem, consider what your own responsibility might be. Have you really done everything you could to resolve the issue or prevent it? Is it really and truly only down to that other person or is it possible that you have contributed in some way to the situation you’re now complaining about?

The good thing about accepting responsibility for creating a problem is that it shifts you into the mindset where you can create the solution. (Known in NLP as being ‘at cause’)

The second lesson is this: If you are going to speak to the world at large, (or your customers, or your organisation) think about what you’re saying first. Be clear about the purpose of your communication; think about exactly how to phrase your message. Consider some of the possible ways that what you say can be interpreted and make sure that none of them are damaging to your purpose.

Actually, there is a third lesson here as well.  If you’re part of a team and you criticise the team, who comes off worst?

(Please get in touch if you’d like me to work with you on crafting or delivering productive communications in your organisation)
 

I don't know if you've been following the news recently about what's been going on at RBS…

 

 

 

Work on your mindset, that’s what everyone, including me, keeps on saying. Work on your mindset. But actually it’s a myth. It’s hard to work on your mindset, because mindset is not a single thing.

It might be more accurate to extol the virtues of working on your mindsets. The fact is that we all have multiple mindsets, not just one. Think about it for a moment. Is the mindset that helps you sit down and write a report, article or proposal a good mindset for meeting a new customer or the key sponsor of your latest project? Probably not.

Is the mindset that serves you best when you’re having a tough day and you need to just grit your teeth and get on with it going to be a good mindset for taking stock of the week and working out the priorities for next week? Of course not!

So the reality is that we all need multiple mindsets, each useful in different circumstances. Working out which mindset will suit the occasion is one skill to cultivate. The other is your ability to change from one mindset to another.

It will be irrelevant that you’ve cultivated a super-positive, can-do mindset for getting things done if you find it impossible to get out of a down-hearted and demotivated mindset at the end of a difficult day.

So practice shifting mindset, rather than trying to stay upbeat all the time. It’s not easy to do, and pretty well unnatural for most people. It can also be very irritating to other people (remember Pollyanna?) Cultivate mental agility, it will serve you better.
 

“Be yourself, everyone else is taken” is a slogan that made me smile recently. It’s good advice. Trying to be something that you’re not usually results in you giving out mixed messages and either confusing other people or leaving them slightly mistrustful of you.

Mixed messages happen when the words we use are not backed up with matching tone of voice or body language or when there is a conflict between what someone is saying today compared with what they said yesterday.

I’m sure you can recognise this problem when you see it in others. Do you also recognise it when you do it yourself?

The times when it most often occurs that we give off mixed messages are when we’re out of our comfort zones. Doing something for the first time, it can be hard to exude an air of total confidence. But don’t make this an excuse for not doing anything new or challenging. The key is in preparation.

If you find that you don’t feel totally comfortable about something you’re going to do, here are a few things to check:

Do I believe in what I’m going to do? Is it valuable, worthwhile and constructive?
Do I believe what I’m going to tell other people?
Do I believe I am competent to do it?
Am I comfortable with the consequences of what I’m going to do?

If you find that the answer to one or more of these questions is ‘no’, then dig a bit deeper. Is there a conflict with your personal values? Is there a reason why you don’t feel good about it? Uncovering these internal conflicts before you set about your new challenge will be very important in avoiding the danger of giving off mixed messages.

Lack of confidence is easy to fix. Rehearse. Do as many rehearsals as you need until you feel totally at ease with the task. Yes it takes time, yes it takes effort. But I think you’ll find it’s worth it to be sure that when you announce your intentions to the world you sound like you mean it!
 

I was watching the BBC documentary about Money and Wealth training seminars last night. It was carefully put together to leave the viewer in no doubt that the only people getting rich from wealth training are the people providing the training. There was lots of footage that made me squirm, of young people who had gone into debt to attend the seminars, totally ‘believed’ that they were going to get rich and yet had not made a single penny.

Clearly, this is not the only possible outcome. There are lots of people who attend such seminars and implement what they learn to get good results. At least I hope there are, although I’m not sure I actually know any personally.

The thing that really made me uncomfortable was the sight of people reciting affirmations about their ability to manage money, and in some cases about their (non-existent) wealth. This was all in the name of cultivating the right mindset.

So what’s the problem? One is that no amount of affirming something that you absolutely know to be untrue (such as “I am a millionaire”) will make it true. And the cognitive dissonance that results from such an activity might be what leads to the total belief we saw on the documentary. Total belief in something that had no evidence to support it.

Now, I’m a great believer in the power of the mind, as you know. But what creates wealth (or indeed any desired result) is not blind faith, it’s purposeful activity and making the most of opportunities. I’m all for working on your mindset, as long as it’s not the only thing you work on.

I also think it might be more honest to acknowledge, that as well as having the right information, the right mindset and the motivation to implement what you have learned there is something else that’s needed to make money. It’s the intelligence to make the right decisions.

In the anyone-can-do-it atmosphere of personal development seminars, there seems to be no account taken of the varying ability of people to assimilate complex information, keep multiple ideas in mind at once or logically predict the outcome of their actions. You may not need a string of academic qualifications to make money, but you do need intelligence in its broadest sense.

I’m beginning to think that in the pursuit of equality of opportunity we’re losing sight of the actual inequality of capability.

Time to shut up before I say something that offends someone…
 

Someone once asked me, “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” It’s a great question and for someone with a fear of failure it can open up possibilities that might not have previously been accessible to conscious awareness. For me, that question tends to steer my thinking into big, long-term projects. Today I’ve got something more mundane in mind.

What’s currently on your ‘to-do’ list that’s not getting done because you’re scared of screwing it up? Is there something that you tell yourself you need to be in a certain mood to achieve? (for example, writing an article, report or book) Is there a task where so much is at stake, that you want to get it right first time? (for example, following up a sales lead, preparing a big speech or presentation, tackling someone about a problem)

If not, you needn’t read the rest of this. Have a great day!

If there IS something that you’re not getting round to doing because you’re afraid of making a mess of it, read on.

If a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.

So said Sahar Hashemi, founder of Coffee Republic, when I heard her tell her story at a conference some years back. It stuck in my mind, because it horrified my perfectionist little soul so much I couldn’t think about anything else for days!

So, I invite you to think about it too. If a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly. 

After much contemplation, I decided to add two words:

If a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly – at first.

If something is so important that you want to get it right, it’s better to get started and have a go than not do it at all. If you’re worried about messing it up, good. Maybe you haven’t done your ‘homework’ yet, so use that anxiety to motivate you to get started on that research, frame an outcome, create a strategy and then to take action.

It’s rare that you only have one chance to get it right. There will always be other opportunities. The important thing is to make full use of today’s opportunities so that they don’t clutter up tomorrow.
 

Do you have anything on your ‘to do’ list that you just can’t seem to get around to doing? Here is a method to get it done.

First of all, ask yourself, ‘what are the benefits to me of doing this?’
Next ask yourself, ‘what problems will it cause if I never do it?’

In many cases, the answers to those questions will motivate you do it. Great! Go for it!

If not, the next thing to check is, ‘do I know HOW to do it?’

Sometimes, a task that seems quite straightforward can be put off if you don’t have a strategy for getting it done. Often this problem arises with large tasks. If it needs two hours to do it, then you might keep putting it off because you only have half an hour at your desk between meetings. If it’s going to take 10 hours to do it, you’ll never have a big enough gap between meetings to get it done. The answer is to divide it up into manageable chunks and do a bit at a time.

Finally, check if there is some benefit of NOT doing it. For example, if there’s a lot at stake, you may be putting it off for fear of getting it wrong. If that’s the case, talk it over with someone else to build your confidence in your approach – or to amend it if necessary.

Above all, DO NOT assume that you must be lazy because something isn’t getting done. There is always a reason.
 

Fresh from Shelle Rose Charvet’s ‘Words that Change Minds’ Consultant/Trainer programme, where I’d spent two weeks focusing on specific patterns in language and practicing precise communication, I needed to visit my local branch of Halfords. I only wanted some new wiper blades for my car.

I consulted the list of car models and dates and discovered that mine weren’t in stock. So I went to the Parts Desk (an interesting concept if you’re an NLP-er!) and asked if they could be ordered.

The young man who checked on the computer for me asked me to repeat the model of car the blades were intended for and then asked, ‘Do you know the registration at all?’

My brain stalled. My mental processes groped around wildly for a few moments until I realised that what he actually wanted was my car registration! I gave it to him and the sale progressed. Or rather it didn’t because he couldn’t find what he wanted to on the system and had to ask a colleague etc etc

But that’s not the point. Why did my brain refuse to process a perfectly simple request for information? I think it was because I had been surrounded by such precision communication for so long that I’d forgotten that most people don’t use language very well.

Do I know the registration AT ALL? What does that mean? Either I know my car registration or I don’t. So he must be asking me for something else. Do the wiper blades have a registration? No, that would be a reference. No wonder my brain could not compute!

I really don’t like hearing the English language used in such vague and illogical ways. It reminds me of countless other examples; my real pet hate is the use of ‘yourself’ instead of ‘you’. “We’ll send that out to yourself in the post”.

I got equally frustrated when I walked around my local House of Fraser and on every department someone asked me, ‘Are you alright there?’ until I begin to feel I must look unwell. One time I almost snapped back, ‘Don’t you mean, “Are you looking for something particular?” or even “Can I sell you something?”’ Of course, I didn’t, I’m far too polite. I just told the hundreds of people who read my blog instead!