When a client approached me to ask if I would deliver basic  training in Effective Meetings and Time Management my initial reaction was very much: "I don't do that sort of training any more". Reflecting on recent coaching discussions, I realised that not many people do and that the results are evident.

"I am in back to back meetings all day; I don't even know why I am invited half the time; How can you keep a meeting focussed with the distraction of phones and email?" are complaints I frequently hear from all levels of the organisation.

At the risk of sounding my age, I remember how my training as a new manager was designed to cover the basics. Learning how to give presentations, write reports, plan and chair meetings and manage my time effectively were the bedrock upon which my future career as a manager was built.

Investigating my client’s requirements further,  I realised that the training they were requesting was not for new managers but for senior people – people who were experts in their field, who could create vision and strategy –  who were failing to set clear outcomes and ground rules for their meetings, held meetings without an agenda and were thus contributing to the reactive and unfocused culture that was developing within the company.

NLP as a model of excellence in communication has a lot to say about the way we run and conduct ourselves in meetings. So yes, I do do that sort of training. Is it time, I wonder, to go forward to basics?

With thanks to this week's guest writer, Brilliant Minds Associate Partner, Denise Potts

Recently I’ve had a spate of things going wrong in my home and office. First the oven started making an unusual noise, then the shower developed a leak. The aircon in my car needed re-charging and the day I took it into the garage their delivery of gas didn’t turn up. My bathroom lights fused. Next my printer stopped working and the same day the bank rang me to say that they were suspicious of some transactions on my account and it turned out they were fraudulent (well done and thank you to the RBS Fraud team for spotting that one!), so I had to destroy my card and order a new one.

“What do you make of all that? “ a friend asked me.  He was meaning, ‘how is this a metaphor for other things in your life?’

Well, it definitely has something to do with NOT WORKING.  That’s all I’m saying.

But when I stopped to reflect on this series of small incidents, what I noticed was how quickly I’d changed my behaviour to adapt to the new circumstances. I stopped cooking meals that needed the oven and switched to dishes I can make on the hob. In the hot weather I used the car less by choosing to meet friends within walking distance of home. I stopped spending money when I didn’t have a bank card…

And yet we often talk about the challenge of getting people to change their behaviour.

The truth is…

Behaviour change is not difficult.  We do it often.  Frequently without even noticing it.

The challenge is:

Finding a reason for change. Without any motivation to do something different, we mostly just carry on doing what we always do.

So, next time you’re driving a change programme, notice your focus of attention. Are you talking about the behaviour change? Or the reason for making the change?

Do you spend any significant amount of time in audio conferences? They're a favoured method of communication these days but most people I know actually dislike doing an audio conference.

Have you got a goal that you've been talking about, thinking about, wondering about for quite some time, or do you know somebody that has? If there's something that draws you in that way, how come you actually don't make it happen? Often the bit that's missing is an awareness of what we call in NLP the 'secondary gain'… 

If you've ever done any kind of study about goal setting, I'm sure you've come across the idea of visualising your goal at the moment of completion. But there's a little 'X factor' in this process that isn't very often talked about…

Have you noticed how a small change in language can make a significant difference to attitudes? I’ve been musing on this and that.  Literally.  ‘This’ and ‘that’. And what I’ve noticed…

I can change my attitude to a task by shifting between ‘this’ and ‘that’.

Try it:

Pick something from your ‘To do’ list.  Anything at all.  Some filing, an email to write, a call to make, a report to write or anything else.

Now…
Say to yourself, “I must do that filing/email/call/report” and notice your attitude to the task.

Next…
Say to yourself, “I must do this filing/email/call/report” and notice your attitude again.

Is it different?  Mine usually is!

You see, for most people, ‘this’ creates an associated representation of the task.  That means that you see it in your mind’s eye as being close to you, part of you.

In contrast, ‘that’ creates a dissociated image – the task is not connected to you.  For most people it’s much easier to ignore ‘that’ than to ignore ‘this’. For you and I to motivate ourselves to do a task, it helps if it’s ‘this’ task rather than ‘that’ task.

But what about goals?

There is a ‘rule of thumb’ in NLP:  Present state associated, desired state dissociated. We keep our desired outcomes dissociated to create tension, and hence motivation, between where we are and where we want to be.  ‘That’ goal is more motivating than ‘this’ goal.  ‘That’ goal gives you and I something to work for.

And ‘this’ task is the way to get started.

It’s so simple.  And easy to use for yourself or when you coach someone else.  I’d love to hear about your experiences of this and that.

You've probably, from time to time, wondered:"How do I motivate other people to do what I want them to do?" Well there is a school of thought that says you can't motivate other people – all you can do is create conditions in which they will motivate themselves – and to some extent I agree with that. Having said that though, there are things you can do…

Often beliefs and values are gathered in together and treated as one subject, but they are actually quite different from each other. If you're interested there's a technical difference. And it's this…

So often the idea of routine seems boring. Brought up with the idea that ‘variety is the spice of life’, we assume that the opposite of variety must be dull. But is that really true?

Just for a moment, notice the mental images you make when you think of the idea of routine. Are you picturing doing the same things at the same time in the same way over and over again? Monday evening dance class, Wednesday morning put the bins out, Friday night grocery shopping, Sunday morning yoga, that kind of thing?

We all have some things in life that happen at a regular time. But notice that there are also big gaps between those regular events when anything could happen!

You see, ‘routine’ doesn’t have to mean that everything is done at the same time in the same way. It’s a question of knowing how much routine is right for you.

Personally, I hate the idea of living the same week of life over and over again, but I know people who enjoy the predictability, the rhythm of repetition and routine and wouldn’t have it any other way.

And even though I’m not a big fan of lots of routine I have to say that I recognise it can be the most efficient way to get through a lot of regular work. So for example, I have meetings with people in my team at the same time each week – unless one of us has a reason to rearrange to different time slot.

By having a fixed time to do something I want to do regularly, I avoid wasting time scheduling it or wondering how to fit it in every week. This applies to lots of tasks that recur over and over again, so I have a ‘routine’ that gets those tasks done – if I’m in the office.

If I’m not here on a day when some of those routine tasks are scheduled, I simply re-schedule for another day or I delegate.

One of the major benefits of having a schedule of routine tasks is I know how long they take, I know what else I can get done in a day and I know the ‘boring’ stuff gets done without me having to think too much about it.

And who wants to spend loads of time thinking about boring jobs that have to be done over and over again?

Could your life stand a little more routine?